Wednesday, 30 March 2011

Can India survive shrilanka??

Some how India won against Pakistan. But I was never confident for India win. Pakistan did many mistakes in the match , but do you think Sri-Lanka will generous enough to repeat the Pakistan's mistake ..

Every Indian player has to give 300% in final otherwise this time luck will not help Indian team.

Good luck India!!!

Saturday, 26 March 2011

Say No to E-Bills , To Survive Indian Offices :)

I felt great when I opted for electronic bills instead of paper for my post paid. This was my tiny contribution to save trees , prevent global warming and protect our environment.

I didn't realize my mistake until I applied to renew my passport. When I reached there for document verification , executive simply discarded my e-bills printout , my bank statement printout. He asked me to get the confirmation from telephone bill company and bank on their letter head that I am their customer and those printout are genuine.

He didn't accepted rental agreement and electricity bill either.
My CL got wasted which I took for passport renewal work. So instead of wasting it fully I am writing this post. It may save your CL . And please do let me know if it helped you.

Here is the list of Some Do's and Don't Do. to proof your identity and address.

1. Never opt for electronic bill or bank statement .

2. Never throw ANY of your paper bills and bank statements.

3. Get the Ration card or update the address on Ration card as soon as you shift to a new address.

4. Don't throw electricity bills and Water bills, their payment receipts. Ration card offices accept rental agreement (at least 6 months old ) with Electricity bills and water bills with their receipt.

With above combination you can get Ration card and this ration card is accepted as address proof in passport office. Strange but true.

Passport office directly doesn't accept Bills + rental agreement as address proof. :)

5. Also preserve ALL of your gas delivery bill . In case you need to get new Ration card , They also accept gas delivery bills.

6. Driving license is another important document , keep it safe and photo must be clearly visible. If you have old license which is hand written and messy , get it renewed .Your RTO must be now supporting card version with every thing printed on it.

7. If you have passport in which details are hand written , get it renewed Immediately many countries specially USA doesn't accept hand written passport.

8.If you may plan to visit some country in future with your wife. Get Marriage certificate and include your spouse name in your passport and vice-versa .
Another advantage of this arrangement is if your wife doesn't have any address proof simply give marriage certificate or passport copy with your address proof.

9. Get Birth certificate immediately .

10. Give death certificate immediately.

11. Update your will regularly.

12. Make a list of accounts and documents where you need to update your address and phone number immediately .

13. Whenever you change phone number , first update your phone number in bank ,demat and credit card accounts . Generally they send verification code on phone number they have in account (SBI bank does this) and then terminate your previous number.

IF you don't do like this then you have to submit application in SBI branch .
Better terminate your phone number after updating address and phone number in all places. Mostly they will call you on your current number to confirm.

14. Have scanned copy of all your important documents in your multiple mail IDs as well as in your hard drive and on a CD. Send a copy to your spouse or close friend to whom you look at in emergency.

15. Keep at least one ID card 's photo copy with you , ALL time . Police may catch you anywhere in India and beat you if you not show proper ID proof.

List of passport office documents

(a) Electors Photo Identity Card (EPIC);

(b) Service Photo Identity Card issued by State/Central Government, Public Sector Undertakings, local bodies or Public Limited Companies;

(c) SC/ST/ OBC Certificates;

(d) Freedom Fighter Identity Cards;

(e) Arms Licenses;

(f) Property Documents such as Pattas, Registered Deeds etc.;

(g) Rations Cards;

(h) Pension Documents such as ex-servicemen’s Pension Book/Pension Payment order, ex-servicemen’s Widow/Dependent Certificates, Old Age Pension Order, Widow Pension Order;

(i) Railway Identity Cards;

(j) Income Tax Identity (PAN) Cards;

(k) Bank/ Kisan/Post Office Passbooks;

(l) Student Photo Identity Cards issued by Recognized Educational Institutions;

(m) Driving Licenses; and

(n) Birth Certificates issued under the RBD Act

(o) Gas Connection Bill

P.S : Best thing in India is above all is only for common man of India , all terrorist and Bangladeshi can make this proofs at home or they easily get Ration card. And Ration card is Mother/ Father of all proofs. Get some collector or politicians reference letter you will get Ration card in few days , after that you can proof any thing in India.

No Ration Card , you are not Indian. :)

Thursday, 24 March 2011

Another India!!! Shown by

The World Bank's definition of the poverty line**, for under developed countries, like India, is US$ 1/day/person or US $365 per year. As per this definition, more than 75% of all Indians are, probably, below the poverty line!

As per the Government of India, poverty line for the urban areas is Rs. 296 per month and for rural areas Rs. 276 per month, i.e. people in India who earn less than Rs. 10 per day. As per GOI, this amount will buy food equivalent to 2200 calories per day, medically enough, to prevent death. At this level of earning, even in a poor country like India, survival on Rs. 10 per day is a nightmare! This actually translates to Rs. 3650 per year or US $ 75 per year.

On what basis have our planners decided this definition of "Poverty Line"? Does it mean that the person will get enough food to stay alive? How and where is he or she supposed to cook it? What about the minimum needs in education, housing, health services, clothing,and other basic necessities? Are we supposed to live on pavements and sleep under trees from birth till death? YOU BE THE JUDGE!

The minimum wages in India, vary from state to state and city to city, and average Rs. 1000 - 1250/month or Rs. 12,000 - 15,000/yr. Or US $ 250 - US $ 300/yr. India's per capita is US $ 440 per year. (China's is US $ 990).

If India could provide Roads, Electricity, TV's and Telephones in every village, it would improve, education, health, family planning, agriculture, animal husbandry, GDP and reduce migration from villages to cities.

*Cost of employee = salary & wages + all allowances including housing + perks + retirement benefits.

**1 million = 1,000,000 or 10 lacs. 1 lac = 1,00,000. 1 crore = 10 million = 1,00,00,000.

source :

Some more Shocking facts if you can spend your precious time to read (which may be the whole month earning of a person somewhere in India).

Biggest eyewash in Indian Political History

In my previous post "Crime Investigation Lessons from Indian Government" I exposed the way Indian governments save their money making ministers. Reason to save these ministers , because they arrange fund for party and above all for seniors politicians of Party, who want to remain cleanchit like Gandhis and Manmohans.

Biggest eyewash is Arrest of A Raja by CBI...

Let me explain the reasons. .. . . .

1. B*****d Manmohan Singh always supported A Raja and his ministry and never spoke a word against him.

2. M****F*** Kapil Sibal never accepted that something like 2G scam exists. Even he has also given clean chit to A Raja.

3. Pranav Mukharji even supported Raja .

4. Now After so many scams congress realised they have to do something to clean their image.

Now question is How ??? Should they take action against Suresh Kalmadi (Wealthiest Congress person byboth known and unknown income sources)..

No Very wrong decision Suresh Kalmadi is someone brings money for congress. "So what to do manmohan singh ji ?"

Manmohan : " Rahul Baba I have one Idea if you give permission to explain"?

Sonia : " Tell us Manmohan what do you have to say!!".

Manmohan : "Lets take action against A Raja . He is from DMK , today or tomorrow they will withdraw support from Congress, Let CBI arrest Raja then DMK will have to cooperate with us. DMK can not loose their main money minting cow. In return we will release Raja after 2-3 month of introgation . Second advantage is we can threat telecom companies to cancel their license and milk more money. Raja didn't share money with us. Congress people should also benefit by 2G scam. Third advantage we can protect Suresh Kalmadi from all investigation , he earned too much for congress".

Rahul : "Mummy Manmohan uncle is getting smarter and shameless with age. Brilliant idea!! . Kalmadi saved , Raja also saved from major problems , money for congress loyals and Ye saala Hindustani idiots bhi khush."

Manmohan : " Madam ji Then call CBI director to take action against A Raja".

Wednesday, 23 March 2011

India Census 2011 : Worth believe it?

We reside in Bangalore.
But few days back i was in my native Agra.
My In-laws stay in Kanpur.

Now here is the interesting part of Census 2011.
My father - in - law thought that we will be not included in census because My husband and I both go for work. So he told census persons to include me and husband in Kanpur.

Now in Agra my mother met census people when they visited home . She simply answer all questions and We got included in Agra census ME and My KID.

Best part Census people visited many times our house and finally caught my husband on a Saturday. My husband replied all questions and we got included in Bangalore census also. This way we 3 people become 8 people in census 2011. :)

Tuesday, 22 March 2011

Bollywood holi!!! Gorgeous ;)

Who Idiot whould say no to play holi..? India should promote holi main festival for tourists ... :)

Is Gaddafi and India friend???

I could not understand why India is supporting Gaddafi.
India never requested  Gaddafi to stop violence against unarmed civilians of Libiya, when Gaddafi and his sons sworn to fight to the last drop of the blood India never criticized Gaddafi .
Now afterUS - UK and alliance started attacking on Gaddafi to save innocent civilians of Libiya India criticized the aggression of USA  and alliance.
What does India want to do with it headless and sense less foreign policy ?
When any country will attack on India ,who will come to rescue of India ??? Russia , USA or Pakistan ? Things are getting complex in International politics , Non-alignment policy will simply isolate India and no one will come forward to support India when India is in need .
This is give and take world.
Indian policy maker should come out from the dreamy world created by Nehru and Mahatma Gandhi around non-violence and non alignment. It is a act of Hara-kiri , which can be done by only silly Indian policy makers.
China has to oppose such move because China itself use the same violent action against the peaceful demonstration in China , reason one . Reason two China always support all Grey countries and dictators around world be it North Korea , Iraq or Pakistan.
Russia has its own interest in opposing such move.
May be .. Soon we are going to hear from Manmohan that he did not authorize anybody to make such statement. :) What the f**k is going on in India??

Sunday, 20 March 2011

Throwing Balloons on train is sever crime than BURNING it.!! It happens only in India.

I was reading one news at regarding throwing colored water filled balloons on Mumbai Local trains. Under Section 152 a person may get life imprisonment or minimum 10 years imprisonment.

I started thinking about the final verdict on Godhara Massacre in which around 100 person planned and brunt the complete railway boggy. In which 59 persons were burnt alive.

63 accused have been already got acquitted  , Due to lack of evidence or some other reasons  ,which court or Manmohan Singh ji know better.

31 convicted . Lets see how many out of 31 convicted will get punishment more than the punishment mentioned for throwing balloons on train .

Section 152
The section states, 'If any person  unlawfully throws or causes to fall or strike at, against, into or upon  any rolling stock forming part of a train, any wood, stone or other  matter or thing with intent, or with knowledge that he is likely to  endanger the safety of any person being in or upon such rolling stock or  in or upon any other rolling stock forming part of the same train, he  shall be punishable with imprisonment for life, or with imprisonment for  a term which may extend to ten years.'

P.S : Do you agree with Indian Panel Code that  Planned and Unplanned (spontaneous ) murder should be discriminated, specially when 100 people were involved in crime.

Is it possible that suddenly 100 people think alike and arrange petrol to burn a train?

Strange fact :  According to Indian Panel Code Jammu And Kashmir is not part of India . Cleck here to Read Indian Panel code .
4*                    18 "India"                    –
"India"                    means the territory of India excluding the State of Jammu and                    Kashmir.

Saturday, 19 March 2011

10% YoY Growth Driven World.

First of all I am not an economic expert like Nouriel Roubini , who predicted famous recession of 2008.

I am simply questioning the drastic change behind the reason of growing business 150 years back and now in 2011.

Some 150 years back things were getting invented at frantic pace after the invention of electricity. There was real need of light in night , speedy transportation of crops ,cereals and medicines.And many more genuine needs. Business growth came from genuine demand . Companies catered first developed market and then developing countries .

Now in 2011 things has shifted from catering needs of customer to maintaining the 10% YoY growth momentum of companies.  (YoY: Year on Year)

If a company is not growing sales 10% YoY then investors think that company is dead.

I want to know why 2% , 4% or 5% YoY is not sufficient ?

Why all government try hard to boost GDP at 8%-9% per year?

Can't we provide food ,clean water , medicine for poor , shelter , education for them at 4% or 5% growth?

India was surviving at 5-6 % for 50 years . Unemployment problem is almost same.. as 40 years ago.  Other things are slightly improved. No body in India is crying for unemployment that is altogether a different story, which I will cover in my next post.  Indian  government is focusing more to bring FII , FDI making infrastructure better FOR MNC and INDIAN COMPANIES . And Companies are focusing on their 10% YoY...

Who are thinking about improvement of the poor.

Basic food prices are increasing because , LPG , Petrol , Diesel are now consumed by Power houses to generate electricity for COMPANIES ..   Still rural areas are struggling for electricity for irrigation.

Lands are used for SEZ or cash crops no body wants to grow wheat which sales for INR 900 /100 KG. Hence prices are increased . Onion and Wheat are being exported again not for the benefit of farmers , Export of these basic commodities benefit the big super rich farmers (supporters of politicians in rural area or politicians from rural area).

Basic commodities are listed like shares and used as investment instruments rather than as basic necessities , obviously prices will be increased . So Why not price of basic commodities will increase like anything??

Japan disaster is natures warning to stop and think that , Are all developing countries following the right path to development?

8% GDP growth and 10% YoY for 30% population of India is more important for government of India or ensuring  basic amenities for 70% of  population.

Government is working to bring down call rate at INR 10 paisa / minute  were as still human being are deprive of FOOD the basic necessity. People are still dying in Orrissa , MP , Aasam , Rajasthan ,Karnataka and Maharshtra  because of hunger and malnutrition.

What to talk of free QUALITY education ? and shelter , Social security is far away thing..

After 65 years of independence if people are dying of hunger then what did INDIA achieve .. ?

Is someone checking priorities of INDIA ???

Growth should be driven by demand of 70% people of India. But what we see is that growth is driven by  balance sheet of companies and 30% of Indian population.

Government is taking decisions and allocate fund to satisfy the Infrastructure need of Companies . And it is not sustainable . Maoists are butcher and terrorist, but there so called reason,social injustice , for terrorist activities  , is right.

Before every decision  Indian government should ask itself what it will bring for 70% below poverty line population.

Bribe for Vote : Whats the problem???

Bribe for Vote : Whats the problem??? Isn't is natural in India. Everyone in Media , opposition knows that ALL POLITICAL PARTIES bribes voter religiously ,monetarily or in some other way to vote for them.    No one in India ask vote by saying that I will arrange best education infrastructure for your kids.

Poor voters of India are notorious to vote for money , liquor or free cloth ,TV , cycle , blanket etc.?   Whatever congress did to save his government is the common practice in India.

All elections are won by giving monetary benefits to voters  .

It hardly matters that money was given by PM Manmohan or Some other Congressman.

Actually What , Manmohan Singh ji is saying , is correct.  -"Public has already given verdict on this matter, congress seats tally increased to 206 from 140. " Why not voters will support congress who has already accepted money to vote his leaders, This is the basic criteria of voting in India .  Give me favor take my vote.

Corruption is backbone of Indian democracy which starts with election. Something like Electricity , Water and Internet in USA. Indians can't live without corruption.

1. Voters vote the politician who gives them money after that whatever politicians do ,its none of his business.

2. Business houses donate money to the political party which promise to help the business house in trouble .

3. Criminals either joins the national parties or fight election,  which can help them to stay out of police arms.

4. Commissioner of police , collector and other officers support politicians , so that they can seek their help to get his transfer   order changed.

5. So what the fuss if congress paid 4 MLAs to vote for congress.

Don't you wish secretly that how great if someone in your relationship / friend was close to some great politicians . How many favors you could have got. Life can become so much easy in India with the BIG CONNECTIONs. From School admissions ,to getting ration cards every thing become so easy if you have RIGHT connections.

Only Those Indians are cribbing about corruption who could not get benefit from it.  Or could not get opportunity to do corruption. Even I could not get opportunity to make easy money from corruption (Political/social/personal/moral corruption). Whatever small opportunities came , those were not worth of being corrupt.  Hence I am unfortunately  still uncorrupted Indian.

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Secret#2402 of Success and Failure in everything .

After observation of many successful people and failure , I found one secret .
Yes It is a Secret !! Secret#2402 ..

Same thing ,  which can make you filthy rich and successful , can also make you a person in utter poverty and a failure.

So what is this secret ????
It is known as stubbornness , adamant behavior of people.

I am not insane , I will prove you my point keep reading . The same thing is behind every success and every failure.

Successful people are stubborn people , organizations  to achieve their GOAL.

Failure people stand fast either on the believe that whatever they doing is right or whatever they are thinking is right.

The difference between these two breeds is the FLEXIBILITY. Successful accepts responsibility , identify the wrong steps and strategy . Continuously with every failure and every success. They are so adamant to achieve success that they are ready to change every wrong thing in their path. Moreover they are ready to reconsider "the right" - is the right things are actually right or wrong.

Most failure comes because people stuck with something , they try to do other things also . Failure comes from the single point they stuck upon.
This single point is mostly related to their thinking or implementation.

Somewhere they stuck with a thought that whatever they are thinking is unquestionable , Whatever they are doing is the most perfect way of doing , whatever they are analyzing that is the best analysis , whatever solution they are giving is the best solution or service.  They are adamant with their behavior.

When you become stubborn and deny to change your behavior and thinking , you unconsciously accepting the outcome of your behavior .Whatever it is success or failure. I am right means I am the best no scope of improvement , no scope  to change because I am perfect.


God has decided something for me and that will come to me whatever I do right or wrong doesn't matter (Call it a laziness , fate or comfort zone ).


I have no control on people around me , I am doing best in these circumstances .

Self - help books are junk for these failures , articles are junk theories .
They close all gates which can prove them wrong and ask them to change.

When you read any self help book for anything , you will find they are asking you to change but stick to the goals.
Corollary of every book is same --
Keep your goal constant and keep trying the different things or keep doing the same thing in different ways with continuous introspection.

Believe me if you know how to correlate the below flow chart for your problem , you can solve any problem. Everytime . Condition s you have to go through the every step and repeat all cycles honestly . Remember flexibility forget your dogma and constants of egos.
There are solutions which may be better than yours find them listen them , there are people with better skills find them hire them.
Admit that you are not perfect you need to keep learning new things in this constantly changing world to survive to solve new problems.
Be Stubborn for goals but don't stubborn with solutions. 

Success Flowchart
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Wednesday, 16 March 2011

2G Scam updates : Sadiq Batcha murdered???

Now the famous 2G scam of India has started taking tolls.


Dark secrets of Gandhi family … Why Gandhi family is not taking any action against Magazine Schweizer Illustrierte?? Which was first to revealed Swiss bank account of Rajiv Gandhi having $2 Billions (INR 9000 crores  )


First victim is Sadiq Batcha . According to "Sadiq Batcha, a key aide of Raja, reportedly  committed suicide at his Chennai residence on Wednesday. Batcha was  considered to have been Raja's key 'money-transfer-aide' and the only  person who could have shown the CBI the 2G scam's money trail.

"Sadiq Batcha was the front man and alleged  money launderer of Raja. He was also a connectional link between (DB  Realty's MD) Shahid Balwa and Raja. "

Before Sadiq Batcha could spill the beans he was killed or forced to kill himself ..? Here is his suicide note

Can you believe this Dowood Ibrahim's look alike would commit suicide..

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="630" caption="Sadiq Batcha"]Sadiq Batcha[/caption]

I would not surprise if our respected PM Shri Manmohan Singh ji (Who earlier tried his best to save A Raja) confirms that Sadiq Batcha has committed suicide , there is no doubt about it.

A Agency like CBI which could not prove the Rajesh Talwar (A Dental Surgon with a few political connection) guilty of committing murder of his daughter .

Obviously CBI and Indian police can not protect evidence against Kalmadi or A Raja ... Who are big shots of major political parties.

Q.   Why it must be a murder ---

A.  "There is a big mystery, because somebody might have thought they could  hide some key statements by killing Batcha since the news was already  out that he was turning approver for the CBI."

Please call ISI or CIA for proper investigation of 2G and CWG scams. I can trust Pakistan's ISI but not CBI in the investigation of 2G and CWG scams.

And best part reaction of Chennai Police Commissioner (Such a cute Indian Police) --- "We are yet to commence investigations. His wife is yet to lodge a formal  complaint. Once she does we will start our investigations. We haven't  searched the house yet. The house is locked and we have kept it  guarded," said Chennai Police Commissioner T Rajendran."

And See how confident our CBI is

Even as Chennai police investigates how Batcha died, the CBI has assured  that his death will not hamper investigations in the 2G case. CBI says  all evidence related to Batcha were collected and recorded but real  extent of damage done will only be known on March 31 when the  chargesheet in the 2G case is filed.
2G Scam updates : Sadiq Batcha murdered???

Tuesday, 15 March 2011

Strange !!! 85% of Indian population don't know the official language of India!

You will be surprised by a fact that in India one can submit forms and applications in their regional languages despite English is official language. However in case of a dispute only English versions of the forms/applications will be considered in court case!!

Astonished !!! Yes my friends . This is true . Whatever a person is reading in a form in his regional language and filling information based on that doesn't stand well in Indian courts. 85% population of India is still ruled by Britishers. Even non congress (BJP , JD , CPM etc) led governments did not try to eradicate this major loop hole in Indian System . Neither opposition of India ever demanded to fix.

And the best thing is most of the children completes their school education , college education in their regional language. Though most of the private schools now focusing only on English Medium but government schools mostly churning out the students in the regional language.

A 12th pass out from government school can not fill his bank account form , entrance form or any application . If the student is from rural area then conditions are horrible.

One side corporate India is crying for good quality freshers and on other side schools churning out students experts in un-official language of India .

Researches says that one person with average intelligence need 10000 hours of practice to master a skill.

12 classes = 6 hours * 250 days * 12 years = 18000 hours

A student who masters a language in his most precious 18000 hours of life realized the blunder of Chacha Nehru and their family members when he get inside a corporate India /Government offices.

He is now called unemployed youth good for nothing. He thinks that being graduation would change his future . But in this Semi- English instruction colleges his natural skills and talent lost in translation and selection of appropriate words for his thoughts.

By the end of graduation he felt bit depressed by the fact that the morons of English mediums have got good grades.

3 /4 years of Graduation = 9 hours * 200 days * 4 years = 7200 hours

He waste in a English mixed regional environment.

In China Education medium is Chinese and Government systems also work in Chinese. To compete with rest of the world China is developing English medium schools at fanatic pace beyond the Imagination of any member of Nehru , Gandhi clan. And good thing is their system is still using china population friendly Chinese language. So this is the double advantage for china. MNC can't penetrate in Chinese market ignoring Chinese language. This way they have to employee Chinese speaking people. Thus Chinese will be able to compete with whole world in their home countries by knowing English but no one would be able to defeat Chinese companies in China . The Internet Giant Google (despite having a Chinese product ) has lost his battle in China and Biadu won.

Get up Indians , Accept the fact that we are an English country and we want to educate our children in the official language of India and will make them competent to go anywhere in world and conquer the job battle on any turf and geography.

Don't waste a talented youth 's 25000 hours in a education system which will get him tagged as unemployable .

Please help me to spread the message to Indian TV Media and finally to a member of Nehru , Gandhi Clan.

Sunday, 13 March 2011

Short Story : Pakistan dropped NUCLEAR MISSILE on Mumbai.

This kind of headlines are rare to see in news paper, but it is not at all a remote possibility considering the present law and order in Pakistan.

Revelation of Pakistan's nuclear arsenal (111+) , which is solely developed keeping India in mind . Uncontrolled ISI ,Killing of Shahbaz bhatti ,Salman Taseer, al-Quida ,talibani elements in Pakistani army , politics and bureaucracy makes the above headline is a REAL POSSIBILITY. Threat is as real as Kargil war , Mumbai attack , parliament attack and 9/11 .

USA is trying its every diplomatic and economic tactics to control Islamic elements in Pakistan and prevent any 9/11 like attacks.

Recent development around Raymond Davis in Pakistan may turn Pakistan in another Egypt . Such kind of civil unrest in Pakistan will throw the army , ISI , Al-Quida nexus in center of power. Nuclear Buttons will be in hands of totally insane peoples who thinks India is the biggest enemy of "The Religion of Peace" .

USA wants to show it citizens that USA can control a crazy nation like Pakistan by throwing USA tax payer's money in the Pakistani economics , whereas Pakistani Leader and army wants to shows that Pakistan has total control and USA can not interfere in any case. This is important to gain the China confidence and restore the faith of Pakistani aawam.

If Zardari fails to execute Raymond Davis under "Pakistani Law :) " then it is quite possible that Pakistani people will come on streets to execute him.

Now the interesting part starts here.. What the Indian leaders doing :)

Read this interesting discussion among top Indian leaders and bureaucrats.


Army Intelligence Chief: Madam , we have confirmed reports that extremist elements in Pakistan got the control of nuclear weapon . Zardari .....

President Pratibha (Interrupting him ) : Wait wait .. I could not understand what you are talking about. Let me call Devi Singh. Deviiiiiiiii...(Waiting her husband to come)

Army Intelligence Chief: Madam we have very less time to take decision otherwise ...

President : We know the meaning of nuclear. Nuclear families are the threat to our Indian culture , threat to the social value of India..

Devi : Yes Chief tell me whats the problem.

Army Intelligence Chief: Sir we have confirmed reports that extremist elements in Pakistan got the control of nuclear weapon . Zardari .....

Devi : Hummm USA is taking care of Pakistani Nuclear weapon we should worry. Hey Chief Arrange one flat for my son - in -law in Adarsh Society in Mumbai.

Army Intelligence Chief: Sir Extremist may target Nuclear missile on Adarsh Society , Mumbai.

Devi : Ohh my God , then there will be major problem. I 'll call P.Chidambaram . He is taking care of Home ministery Right ? [Dialing some number on his mobile] .. Hello Chidambaram Speaking ???

P. Chidambarm : Hello Hello Hello who is speaking ??{ Thinking : Idiot Raja took all money and all network signals }

Army Intelligence Chief: Sir I have connected to Sonia ji on hotline finally she will only take decision .

Devi : Ohhh yes yes Thats what I was going to do. Connect First lady of India and explain her the problem what can we do in it?? Talk to her talk to her and explain the situation , Aadarsh society ko bachana jarori hai (Its important to save Aadarsh society.)

Army Intelligence Chief: Sir shall I explain to her ?

Devi : yes yes . Explain her.

Army Intelligence Chief (On Phone) : Madam ,we have confirmed reports that extremist elements in Pakistan got the control of nuclear weapons . Actually Zardari has planned Nuclear attack on India as the terrorist attack. We have confirmed report that they will drop missile on Mumbai within 2 hours . Zardari will later on tell International media that Al-Qauida planned it and hacked our system with the help of Taliban. We have to do some thing.

Sonia (on Phone) : Are you sure is it Mumbai or is it Delhi ?? 2 Hours is less to do pack everything. Thanks for report chief.

Army Intelligence Chief : Mumbai is confirmed , Reports Reads "Zardari wants congress leaders in power and center , otherwise Indian Army will take decision to swipe out Pakistan . They trust only on congress".

Sonia (Smiling) : Yeah we are trustworthy , but no body understand this except Congress voters. Rahul , Rahul Where are you we have one more problem to solve. Check this with Manmohan , PC . Ok call Sibbal , Pranab , Jairaam and other leaders . Problem is bit serious we must take proper democratic decision. Better call parliament session.

Rahul : Mom , Telecoms are now ready to pay extra for congress and opposition members , I am going to settle that with opposition. Later on I 'll do something for Kalmadi , Ashok , Sharad and Lalit otherwise we will not get money for next election. Any way whats the so serious problem .

Sonia : Pakistan's Extremist elements got control on nuclear weapons , they are going to attack Mumbai in 2 hours.

Rahul : Hummm , What can we do to stop them ? (On Phone) Chief do we have any option?

Army Intelligence Chief(On Phone) : We have to attack first and wipe out Pakistan.

Sonia : We are peace loving country and can't attack on anybody . My in laws soul will not like this first attack decision . Do we have other options ?And what if your reports are not correct ?

Army Intelligence Chief (Entering in the room): Reports are 110% accurate , we captured Zardari's Video (full 1080p ) with Osama bin laden chalking out the plan. Our Nuclear Missile shield program has completed but could not be tested because you allocated all fund to Common wealth game and Kalmadi .

Sonia: Speak only what is required. Behave like a demo crating. You will teach us where we need to allocate funds and how much.

Army Intelligence Chief : Sorry Madam

Sonia : Better , Now tell us other options.

Army Intelligence Chief : Yes , We can ask America to cover India immediately with his missile shield. American Neavy Ship in pacific ocean will launch their missile and intercept the Pakistani missile in between and will destroy that.

Sonia : Russia doesn't like this ....

[Manmohan , PC , PRanav and company enters in room. ]

Manmohan : Satshri akal Madam ji , Tussi kaise ho achanak se sab ko bula liya? [What happen, is every thing fine ?How are you?]

Sonia : Pakistan's Extremist elements got control on nuclear weapons , they are going to attack Mumbai in 2 hours .

Army Intelligence Chief : No madam now only 55 minutes left. Can we take some decision as soon as possible. Allow army to wipe out terror epic center Pakistan.

Rahul : Easy dude !Easy !! India is a democracy . We have to take a joint decision with ,which is acceptable to opposition also.

Murlimanohar , Aadawani [In Unison] : Ok then first accept for JPC probe in CWG , 2G Scam and Aadarsh Society acam.

Rahul : Only 2G Scam .

Murlimanohar , Aadawani [In Unison] : OK , DONE. Whatever you take decision on Pakistan we are ok.

Army Intelligence Chief : Then Lets call Obama for help.

Manmohan Singh : Naaa , Don't do this madam ji . Muslim will not vote us if we help USA or accept help from USA. Russia , Russia is also having Missile Shield Technology.

Army Intelligence Chief (Frustrated ) : Russia is far away from here , Their Missile shield can't help , error chances will be high in detecting and destroying missile.

Sonia : Do we have any other option ?

Army Intelligence Chief (Thinking) : Request China to persuade Zardari not to do this . But chances are less that China will help.

Pranav Mukharji : Another point is , if media comes to know the China involvement in preventing attack , They will run the news on channels then no will vote to Congress in next election.

Rahul : Any other option Chief???

Army Intelligence Chief (Praying to God to save Mumbai's citizens ) : We have untested Missile shield , we can activate it and pray to god to make it work.

Sonia , Rahul , Manmohan every one in Unison : Why are we waiting? Activate it.

Army Intelligence Chief : Though its already too late we have 10 minutes left. [Calls Army secret HQ and ask someone to activate the shield. and starts citing Hanuman Chalisa ]: Sakat mochan naam tihaaro ...

Manmohan : Madam ji Who made this Non-Secular person an Army Chief..?? He is citing Hindu hymn . We have to change him now.

[They started talking about Modi , Aadvani ..... Meanwhile Somewhere in Pakistan..]

Zardari's Assistant : Sir ji Obama is calling you wants to talk you urgently.

Zardari : Tell him that I in rest room.

Zardari's Assistant : Obama is saying that you are standing with Osama in Nuclear weapon control room.

Zardari's : Tell him that it is India conspiracy against Pakistan to malign the Pakistan image as terrorist hub. Close the windows and CCTV of this building so that they can 't see us.

Osama : Oye Zardari yaar , Jaldi kar ... Inshaallah Fatah Hamari hai.. [Hurry up Dear Zardari !!]

Zardari couldn't understand the written instruction properly and selected all 111 Nuclear Missiles to lock the target and pushed the fire button.

ISI Chief : Sir what have you done?? You fired all 111 Nuclear missiles on India.

Zardari : Oyye ,!! Allah Raham , Chief stop that Missile which is going towards Delhi. In the absence of Indian Government leaders Army Chief will take control of everey thing and they will roast the Pakistan in Tandoor. I want Congress leaders alive in Delhi.

ISI Chief starts reading the instructions with fear on his face.

Zardari Assitant : Sir Army Chief Informed that One Nuclear Missile got blasted in Peshawar because of some accident.

Zardari to ISI CHief : What the hell is this did you use Chinese chips in control panel or Pakistan's experimental control chips ?Any serious damage?

Zardari Assitant : No sever damage sir no nuclear blast , blast in rocket of missile. Some school children were playing in that underground cave , They got killed in rocket blast.

ISI Chief : We tried Pakistani control chip in missile installed at Peshawar.

Zardari : Oh god. Why do you carry out experiments without informing me ?What is happening to other missiles? How long it will take to reach India?

ISI Chief : None of them has left the base till now ? something is wrong.

Zardari : Allah Spare us , save this time we will use India made chips only no MADE in CHINA chips . Please save this time.

ISI Chief : It seems their is some problems in all chips , all chips are showing 60 minutes to explode and rocket engine are not blasting off. Ya Maula , Sir Missiles will get blast after 60 minutes on Pakistani land itself.

Osama : Let me get out of Pakistan ,where is my Jet ? I have to spread "The religion of Peace" in whole world . so much injustice against us.

Zardari : Oye Osama , Mujhe bhi le chal , I will help you.[Take me along with you.]

ISI Chief : Sir Where are you going ? Tell me what to do with these missiles ?

Zardari : I know you are smart enough , you will find out the way to get out of it. I am leaving out of Pakistan otherwise who will take care of Pakistan?

ISI Chief (Calling someone): Get that IIT engineer to Nuclear control room who was captured from afganistan, immediately .

[After 10 minutes , Two person enters in the room with a scared person of age something around 22 years]

IIT Engineer : I didn't do any thing don't kill me .This was my first job , I didn't even get my first salary.

ISI Chief : See this control panel , These 111 oops.... no 110 Nuclear missiles are crushing at the speed of light towards your motherland , if you can stop this system then you can save your country. You have only 50 minutes.

IIT Engineer : He He He He , I will not save . Your physics is weak.First place they can't fly at the speed of light. With the light of speed , Missiles must have reached my country and blasted off. Their is some secret . Tell me what are you hiding?? Otherwise I will not stop the system.

ISI Chief : Please save the Pakistan , Rockets are failed and all nuclear missiles are going to blast in next 30 minutes.

IIT Engineer[Thinking] : WTF???, I don't want to die now . What will happen to my green card plan in USA , My chip designing company .. My Dreams going to be shattered with 110 nuclear blasts .

[He started opening the back of control panel , read the chip number and googled that. He found Chinese user manual of the chips . With the help of Google translator he read the manual. He stops the chips and lock them with a secret password]

IIT Engineer : So mister , I have done my job and saved your country . Now send me back to India.

ISI Chief : He He He He He ... So that you reveal all these secrets to whole world. I can't let you go.

IIT Engineer : I knew this thankless chief , I locked all your chips with my secret password. :)


Now back in Delhi 10 , Janpath.

Sonia : Silence, Silence . Manmohan ji we can discuss 2G money distribution with opposition later on . Yes Chief !! What happened , did any missile come?

Army Chief : No Madam our intelligence source informed that one nuclear missile's engine got blasted in Peshawar. Unfortunately nuclear bomb couldn't detonated. They fired all 111 nuclear missiles by mistake , but because of malfunctioning in China made control chips they have to revert back the attack.

Sonia : So any danger for Delhi now ?

Army Chief : No Madam , Situation is under control. Madam allocate that 2G money to Army Research team , We will complete the test of our indigenous Missile Shield System. Next time we can defend our self without any external help.

Manmohan : Oye Chief , Tell me one thing how long Pakistan will take to fix the problems in nuclear missiles and poss threat for India .

Army Chief : It will take around 5 Years .

Manmohan : Then go back to your Army HQ , we don't money for junk R&D . Ask money from next government . My UPA term will be over by then.. chalo bhai chalo ..start karo .. Lets distribute the 2G scam money.[ad#Google Adsense][ad#Google Adsense-1][ad#Google Adsense-3][ad#Google Adsense][ad#Google Adsense-3]

Saturday, 12 March 2011

Learn Google translation English to Hindi

Hindi to English translation|en

English to Hindi Translation|hi|

Hindi --> English
पता नहीं आपमें से कितने लोग डायरी लिखते हैं लेकिन कुछ ब्लॉगर हैं जो ब्लॉग भले न लिखें लेकिन डायरी जरूर लिखते हैं।
I do not know how many of you people write diaries, but some do not even write a blog but the blogger must write diaries.

Now English ---> Hindi
I do not know how many of you people write diaries, but some do not even write a blog but the blogger must write diaries.
मुझे पता है कि कितने आप के लोगों डायरी लिखने के लिए नहीं, लेकिन कुछ भी एक ब्लॉग लिख नहीं है लेकिन ब्लॉगर डायरी लिखना चाहिए.

Friday, 11 March 2011

Sholey Dialogs Translation : Using Google translate

Hindi Dialogs
ये हाथ मुझे दे ठाकुर , ये हाथ मुझे दे दे !
अरे ओ साम्भा! सरकार हम पर कितना इनाम रखी है ?
वो दो और तुम तीन फिर भी खाली हाथ वापिस आ गए !
क्या सोच कर आये थे !!
सरदार बहुत खुश होगा , शाबाशी देगा !
धिक्कार है !
बसंती! इन कुत्तों के सामने मत नाचना !
इतना सन्नाटा क्यूँ है? भाई !

English Translation using Google Translate
The hands give me Thakur, give me this hand!
Samra Hey! We have kept the government on how much reward?
Those two and three of you still come back empty handed!
What came to think!
Paladin will be very happy, will praise!
Basanti! Do not dance in front of these dogs!
Why are there so much silence? Brother

Pretty good, if I properly used punctuation marks in Hindi text otherwise it is horrible and some times no meaning.

Same hindi text without punctuation marks .

ये हाथ मुझे दे ठाकुर ये हाथ मुझे दे दे .
अरे ओ साम्भा सरकार हम पर कितना इनाम रखी है.
वो दो और तुम तीन फिर भी खाली हाथ वापिस आ गए
क्या सोच कर आये थे
सरदार बहुत खुश होगा शाबाशी देगा
धिक्कार है
बसंती इन कुत्तों के सामने मत नाचना
इतना सन्नाटा क्यूँ है भाई

Give me give me give Thakur these hands these hands.
Hey, how much reward we have kept Samra government.
Those two and three of you still came back empty-handed
Came to thinking
OK chief will be happy
These dogs do not dance in front of Basanti
Why are brothers so much silence

Friday, 4 March 2011

मैं भी भ्रष्ट और तुम भी , कलमाड़ी और A Raja थोड़े ज्यादा भ्रष्ट!!!

क्या फर्क पड़ता है यदि कलमाड़ी और राजा ने थोडा सा ज्यादा पैसा बना लिया ? जनता में उत्तेजना इस बात की है की वो भ्रष्टाचार करके १०-१५ ३० हज़ार ही बना पाती  है ! वरना किसीको फुर्सत नहीं है इंडिया गेट पर जा कर क्रांति करने की !
कोई भी भारत में हरिश्चंद्र बनने की बेवकूफी नहीं करना चाहता है ! सब को चाहिए है पैसा वो भी  पलक झपकते ही!  
जो बचे खुचे हरिश्चंद्र है वो खुद की पीठ थपथपा रहे है बीवी बच्चो की गालियाँ खाते हुए ! 

FBP , फर्जी medical bill , फर्जी Telephone bill , HRA में  ५००० का किराया १५००० में बदल जाता है ! किराये की २५००० की आय ५००० में बदल जाती है ! 

ये सब करने के बाद भी हम दोनों  मियां बीवी मिल कर २०,००,००० ही   बना पाते  है साल का और प्रणव बाबु को गाली देते है की आयकर की सीमा नहीं बड़ाई जो बड़ाई वो ऊंट के मुह में जीरा ! १,८०,000   कर दी १६०००० से ! पेट्रोल के रेट भी ये दिन पर दिन बढ़ाते जा रहे है ! हमारी नयी Swift  में एक बार खरीददारी करने जाओ तो ३०० का तो पेट्रोल ही लग जाता है !! हफ्ते में ५ दिन तो घर पर ही पड़ी  रहती है , ऊपर से EMI १०००० की अलग ! 

ये मरी निगोड़ी  बाई ये भी पैसा बढाने की रट लगायी हुयी है , गए साल ही तो ५० रूपये बडाये थे ! ३ प्राणियों का कपडा बर्तन और झाड़ू , ५५० से जयादा क्या दूं ,पैसा पेड़ पर लगता है क्या , इनको तो जितना पैसा दे दो कम ही पड़ेगा ! बोलती है बच्चे को ढूध पिलाने को बोला है डॉक्टर ने !! ये लोग भी ना जितनी चादर है उतना पैर पसारना जानते ही नहीं है ! 

क्या होगा इस देश का , भगवन ही मालिक है !! बिट्टू को अमेरिका की नागरिकता मिलते ही में तो निकल लूंगी , सभी भ्रष्ट है यंहा पर ईमानदारी की कदर ही नहीं है !!