Sunday, 30 August 2009

Going for divorce- 11 things to remember

Hum mm so you are going through rough marriage! if not then very good, but still you can read. You may help your colleague or your friend by telling these 7 things.

(All articles written in this blog in Indian context but mostly applicable universally)
  1. First of all , discuss openly with your partner to sort out the differences , don't hesitate to accept your genuine mistakes .
    (Make sure your criminal minded partner is not recording the candid discussion).
  2. Make sure you keep out of your ego in the above discussion. Generally step 1 never happens in most of the cases because of ego problem of some person. Certainly many divorce can be avoided if husband and wife can discuss their expectations candidly and accept their mistakes.
  3. Remember you are getting divorce to make your life better , not to make your partners life worst.
  4. Now you are firm that you want divorce , go ahead with it to make your life happy but try your best not to spoil others life in order to get divorce. But yes be ready for tit for tat.
  5. Start looking for your new partner simultaneously , specially if you are girl and your age is 30+ . Complex divorce case may take many years and you may miss several good life partner if you wait for finishing the case.
  6. I know it is very tough time for you but certainly you will come to know the many bitter facts of second marriage when you start looking for new partner . Make sure that this attempt should not go against you in the divorce case.
  7. You have to learn many things before getting marry second time like putting right words in your profile , discussion over phone with a suitable match , meeting with him/her .
  8. In Indian scenario it is bit difficult to trust someone on internet , so it is better to start increasing your social circle , joining club , organizations where you can meet your potential partner.
  9. Share your plan of getting re-marry with your good friends and colleagues , they might know someone in their social circle who may happen to be your right partner. Hiding the facts from friends and well wishers means fighting one men battle. 
  10. Be positive and be cheerful. It helps you to make a good impression on your prospective partner. Most of the person like to live with a person who can make them laugh or make their life cheerful. You must have seen word "fun loving" in many profiles. Dull and always complaining persons are big turn off for every one.
  11. Try to get your case finished as soon as possible, it may give you time to settle down again.
Good luck  !!!!

©2009 part of

Saturday, 29 August 2009

Arrange Marriage : 7 Mistakes you can do!!

First of all I want to share something with you which pushed me to start a blog and share my views with world . This happened with one my friend . I prevented a wrong marriage and a divorce.

One of my friend got marriage proposal from a family of different religion (Boy side) . Boy side was assuming that girl will follow their religion if girl's family accept their proposal . whereas girl was not at all ready for accepting that religion !!!!,
She was confident that boy found her very compatible , so boy family is not bothering which religion she would follow after marriage.  Thus she was ready for that proposal because boy was from a reputed institute , looking good , earning handsome money in big MNC.

Girl's parent were more than happy because they got a very good proposal without any dowry or demand. Parents thought that girl is also happy so they said yes for this relationship. 

No Body discussed about Religion and they got engaged  ... 
Both families were progressive   :)

Interesting thing happened when girl discussed all this with me that she was engaged to a boy . I just asked one thing what religion her child will follow ??   She discussed this question with her fiance and broke her marriage with the guy, because after discussing this she came to know the expectations of boy and his family .

95% happiness in your life depends on your partner. If he /she is right person FOR YOU (Western context) and compatible with your family (Indian context ) with you you will be happy otherwise you can imagine.

So guys and gals , congrats your parents are putting pressure on you to get marry and settle down. Very well , I hope some of you are waiting for this initiative of parents Eagerly !!. Great everybody on this earth has right to find a companion for life.

But marriage in India is far complicated issue than just finding a mating partner who can share your happiness and sorrows. In western countries marriage is very personal issue and resolves with a good partner who is having good chemistry with you. DOT. In India or south Asian sub continent , It is not just a personal matter , specially in India It is association of two families .

You are going for arrange marriage means you trust your parents that they will find best bride/groom for you.

It also implies that your parents know your preferences VERY WELL , your likes , dislikes , your moral values ( :) ) etc etc. In all their is no communication gap between you and your parent.
Bigggg Assumption!! Right . If you have such a great chemistry between you and your parents than it is good for you . But if you  think exactly opposite of your parents,  Than it would be a tough call for you to accept someone selected by your parents.
Now discuss possible mistakes one by one in detail, the most common problem I have already covered , but we will go through that again to explain other points .

Mistake 1. Bride is uncompilable with your parents.

Good chemistry of your bride with you and your parents (Even your parent will ignore this aspect of selection ).

Though now a days parents has started saying that "Ultimately it is your life you choose your life partner , whom you are comfortable with." But things are not so simple dude.

If you care about your parents and thinking about their old age problems then certainly you will have to have a bride/groom who is sensible and caring enough to take care of your parents (your expectation here is something like "Ours parents").

Having chemistry with you is just good enough to make your life happy but it may shatter your dreams of making your parents happy in their old age if your wife is incompatible with your parents.

Generally boys do take care of their old age in-laws without any complains but a girl who is not having good relationship with your parents will not entertain your request to take care of your parents.

She will simply create some drama , headache , back ache and many more things and really telling you , she will shrewdly earn your trust so much that you will never notice that her health problem are associated with your parents arrival , departure and your parents health. Just like relationship of  waning and waxing moon  with high /  low tide in sea.

Mistake 2. Didn't get time to meet her/him properly.

This is the another problem in arrange marriages , in typical non-metro families it is still difficult to meet a girl/boy properly before marriage. Basic problem is the same orthodox mind set of middle class families.

Most of the time girl and boy meets in a girl's house where she sits in proper make up and covering up her all negative points . Experienced parents and relatives guide the girl to cover up anything negative she has. Though most of the girls don't like to cover up their negatives but elders forces her to behave in proper way to cover up.

If you are very particular about some quality in a girl/boy  which absence could turn out as your life term disappointment, then make sure your partner has it or not. It might be difficult to find out  and investigate but it is better to put effort right before getting marry instead of putting effort in divorce and re-marriage.
Have patience your best partner will meet soon,don't move in haste.

Mistake 3 : Ignoring existence of minimum basic qualities in your partner.

It may sound ridiculous for many of you , but in fact such things exists. Just think camly and you will come to know that these things exist for you too.

There are essential qualities ( Physically and Mentally ) which you want in your partner and you can not compromise at any cost  , you just need to realize it.   Many boys/girls do this mistake and spoils spouse life by divorcing her/him or expressing frustration in another way.
Though generally  every person has some virtues which compliment his negatives, but to find and appreciate those virtues , one must has patience for  2-3 years.  However fast moving life and career give little time to understand the each other , now a days every many persons rushing for divorce within 1-2 years of marriage. 

I saw many real life cases in which boys/girls were not sure about their minimum essential requirement in a girl/boy , and immediately after the  marriage they proceeded for break up and then  divorce . They made his/her own life and spouse life miserable.

So think properly , if you have any criteria like this.

Mistake 4 :  You overestimate yourself what you can adjust after marriage (specially for girls) YOU ARE NOT A GOD

 You are thinking that you can adjust few of the negatives in your partner (whereas you can't tolerate in long term or short-term) .

Many times you assume that you can adjust each and every thing you will be thrown at. Whereas it is not a fact . For some very basic things you can adjust but you can't adjust every thing in long term , generally it happens with girls .

Girls are taught from their childhood they have to adjust so girls can't imagine that even they have their limit of adjustments after that either they have to run away , divorce or suicide .

With girls it become worse because every thing is related to girls parent culture , teaching , brought up ,respect , "khandan ki izzat" and blah blah , so girls tries their best to keep mum and bear each and every thing beyond their physical and mental limit .

Some day her parents find that their daughter is no more in this world and they blame on boy's family whereas fact is the biggest mistake was done by girl's parent. first not knowing her daughter , second imposing on her daughter that divorcing will spoil their reputation ,third not finding right in-laws and right husband for her and finally that Beta , "you should keep everything in your family , being silent is sign of a good bride".

Mistake 6. Expectation that your partner will adjust with you on certain issues. EGO ,EGO , EGO

Expecting that your partner will adjust a few issues you have with your behavior after marriage .

Above two assumptions may prove deadly sins , These assumptions are surfaced by EGO , on your personality ,your wealth , your job . Or it might  be EGO of parents that bride has to adjust because my son is IITian and CEO of a company or my daughter is earning more than boy or more beautiful .
I have already gave you example.

Thumb rule : Don't nurture ANY assumption that your partner will adjust your particular negatives because you are best in some areas . Believe me this is the one major reason which leads to most of the divorce cases. DON'T ASSUME any thing .
ASSUME =  ASS    U  and ME .

Now a days every boy and girls thinks very differently after passing out from college. Their parents can see this change very clearly. If you are a parent and going to impose your culture and your priorities while finding a groom or bride for son/daughter then certainly there are chances that you mess up the things for your children.

Mistake 6. Ensure you get correct horoscope of boy or girl if you believe in horoscope matching , many families manipulate horoscope (giving the details which are most suitable with another horoscope details)  to hide son/daughter Manglik dosh or to make it suitable with horoscope under consideration.

Mistake 7. Do it fast . 
circumstances come and your family pushing you for finalizing your partner.
Your younger siblings waiting for  marriage , parents retirement is coming  , going for another transfer , going back to job  , NRI groom.

Many times parents of tainted boys/girls show off that they have many good proposals for waiting , decide fast or we will go to another one.
 So pressurized with circumstances parents just want to finish their responsibilities SOMEHOW and ASAP. Leaving future of son/daughter in the hand of GOD after marriage  parents get relaxed.  Now in such cases if you are a girl , you would be asked to tolerate and to wait .

If destiny is so strong then better to leave your decision of your marriage on destiny . Don't marry a  ASSHOLE  make your life miserable and then every thing on destiny. Right ???

Here is a quick astrological guide to find out major negatives in your partner.

Sun Sign Warnings :

Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 20) : (Violent , Stingy , difficult to please, in one word very difficult to live with for a cheerful easy-go-lucky person, Virgo might handle them )

Do not expect a Capricorn mate to open his/her heart and pour everything to you. They are very secretive and reserved people. They are very thorough in all their affairs and hate any kind of sloppiness. People born under this zodiac are very tight-fisted and economical. Do not expect lavish gifts from them and if they do give you any gift (that is very rare) it will have some practical use (no romance please) but that does not mean you will be deprived of anything; on the contrary you will be well provided.

Aquarius (Jan 21 - Feb 21) (Unpredictable )

Do not expect or plan a normal, simple and predictable life with an Aquarius partner. Aquarians are totally unpredictable. They can go to any direction without giving any advance notice. They are basically very restless and get bored easily. Though they are very friendly, do not expect them to reveal their inner most feelings to you (they never will). They can be detached and impersonal, which may seem strange to others.

Pisces (Feb 22 - Mar 21) ( Mostly Failure or somehow manage to live on earth )

Pisces are dreamers and you should not expect them to have worldly ambitions. They are not materialistic in nature. It is not that they like living below the poverty line but they have no earnest desire to accumulate wealth. They are very sensitive and you have to be always careful about their feelings. The fishes are capable of drowning you in their tears (even men born under this sign)

Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 19) : (Short Tempered and Selfish)

Do not tell an Aries that s/he may be wrong. Any such statement may stir a storm in a teacup. Aries are very faithful and passionate lovers. Do not give air to the smouldering fire within them by making them jealous. No flirtation or fooling around with others in their presence unless of course you wish to write your death wish (you will be granted!).

Taurus (Apr 20 - May 20) : (Stubborn , liars & selfish)

Taureans do not loose their temper easily in fact you may spend the whole life with them and still no spark) but you should not push your luck too much. Being unreasonable or aggressive with them may get you into trouble. Do not press him/her into a corner, and if you do, be prepared for a violent rage. Taurus is capable of violent outbursts though such an event is very rare occasions. They can be suffocating when they are possessive about you.

Gemini (May 21 - June 21) (Frustrating , with weirdo kind of thinking)

Gemini's like to do many things at the same time, so if unfortunately you are the type who is looking for stability you may get disappointed. Do not hold back a Gemini or you may lose him/her, as they are restless and need change in life constantly. You should try to adopt yourself with the ever-changing Gemini. Orthodox or conservative old fashion ideas are no-no in their dictionary. Change with the ever-changing Gemini and do not flow against the current.

Cancer (Jun 22 - July 22) : (Sometimes Very violent & extremely generous)

Cancerians are very sensitive people and can get easily hurt. So do not play with their emotions and sentiments. They are like tides that can sweep you along. They form emotional bonds with even inanimate things, so do not ask them to discard old caps or souvenirs. Such things hold special meaning to them. You have to realize that the crabs have a soft heart and are vulnerable. Do not contradict their tested line of thought and action it would only lead to confusion.

Leo (July 22 - Aug 23) (Violent and angry , extravagant)

Never ever hurt the ego of a Leo. Pride, ego and vanity are some of the bags Leo's always carry with them. Do not touch these bags. An authoritative Leo is even more difficult to handle in such circumstances. Leo is a sunny sign so they do not like people who are gloomy or depressed. Even if you are crying at heart keep a sunny smile on your lips and then let the lion take charge and remove all worries from your life.

Virgo (Aug 23 - Sept 22) (No romance ,extremely critical)

Do not push a Virgo into limelight or on the centre stage unless of course they do so on their own. They are shy and reserved by nature and do not like to be the cynosure of all eyes. Virgo's have secrets that they would not like to bring out in the open. So, even if you have the key to their secret skeleton-closet, hide it; do not even admit that you know anything about it. Virgo, the virgins, do not want to tarnish their public image.

Libra (Sep 22 - Oct 23) (Flirt)

Libra is kind and gentle soul but very argumentative. Hence, do not start an argument or discussion unless, of course, you are free and do not know how to pass your time. They hate to lose and most probably during an argument may change sides too (remember scales can tilt) and still continue arguing from the other side. Do not push your Libra partner into making decisions. They will keep weighing pros and cons and may still not be able to come to any decision. Have patience!

Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 21) (Deadly emotional & possessive)

Scorpio's are very passionate and intense but they are also fiercely possessive and would like to possess your mind, body and soul. Do not let seeds of jealousy grow in them because then you may have to suffer agonies of jealousy and discontentment in life. Scorpio's have explosive tempers be careful how you handle them. They never let anyone know what is going on in their mind till they strike and you may be caught unaware. Do not flirt around in the presence of your Scorpio lover.

Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21) (Stingy & fiercely independent)

Sagittarius is fiercely independent and cannot tolerate restriction. Hence, do not try to hold them back in life. Let them enjoy their freedom because if you hold any special place in their heart they will always come back for you. Do not feel irritated by the exaggeration in their speech. They may go on and on, talking about certain things that may not even interest you, but it’s their way of trying to communicate with you. They are basically frank and outspoken (to the point of being rude), so do not feel offended by their talks.

You will be noticed that I didn't put positive for any signs, because marriage is ultimately adjustment or two family and two souls .

Always remember 95% happiness = right life partner.

Divorce is there but for worst case only and getting married after divorce is big headache for boys as well as for girls.

Girls and boys should clearly communicate their choice and preferences to parents (specially if find that your father or mother from a alien planet) .

©2009 part of

Friday, 28 August 2009

How a boy make fool of agirl : A True Indain Story

I should not call him my friend. Though I read many forwarded mails not to leave your friends in thick and thin. But I really wanted to dump this guy. Name and places are changed to avoid controversies but facts are intact. Girls can learn a few lessons from this story. And Boys -- Boys will be Boys.. Ultimately girls life and their emotions are different.

So story starts in a well reputed college in north India. A boy -- Like a super hero , great sports man , great musician , great singer and best student , charming and handsome. A girl (ABC) -- from south India very intelligent , looking smart. She couldn't resist the boy's charm and fell in love with him . Within few days all of the students came to know that both couldn't live without each other.

Girl fell in love very badly. She would become totally help less if boy got angry on something , immediately she would get fever.

So after 4 years of college was over , she asked him to marry . Boy told her "Dear , don't you trust me . We made for each other.I can't live without you. But before getting married I want to buy a house a car for you. Lets get job first and earn for our goals" .

Both got placed with different company in Pune and started "live-in" together . Very soon they started making love frequently . Girl keep saying for marriage , boy keep saying about future . And both enjoyed so many "good nights" . Unlike movies girl didn't get pregnant .

After few months boys started ignoring her on the pretext of work load, onsites, offsites blah blah . Girl was now getting worried . She told everything to her parents except her physical relationships. Her parents called boy's parents and came to know that it was not possible at all to accept a south Indian girl in North Indian family. They also told that our son was very innocent he couldn't promise such thing to any girl.

Anyway parents met face to face , boy pretended as he was the most innocent and obedient son on this earth. Boy's parent were really innocent as they got ready for marriage when girl said "I can't live without him".

Here boy put one new clause to get rid of this girl , that" we'll have to wait for three years by that time our job and career will be settled".

Now wait for climax ...

I want to tell you how did I come to know about all this. I met this friend after 1 year after passing out from college. In college days we were good friends and many time I passed their gifts and love letters to each other. So both shares their feeling with me.

I asked him about "Bhabhi ji" , He just laughed aloud and said "Yaar too bhi kitna seti maarta hai" {Friend - You are such an emotional fool}. Then he told me the happenings , he described his "live-in" and physical relation ship in details .His marriage episode and how he convinced her for another "3 year" bail. He proudly told me now he can enjoy her anytime. He also gave me tips to control girl friends , just give them a blow job and make her your slave.And many many things which I can't describe here .

Finally when he finished his bravery stories , I asked him not to forget me on their marriage because 3 years are long time. (Here I came to know exact meaning of 3 years bail) He patted my shoulder with his charming smile and said "Either she will forget me or she will find new boy friends otherwise I will make her to forget me in another 3 years , Actually I met my real soul mate in office and I can't live without her. ABC was good but my colleague is awesome and we have very good chemistry." I was in total shock , I asked him why didn't he tell every thing to ABC and why he lied about his 3 years plan.

Now what he said that was height of practicality-"Dude my soul mate will not let me touch her before marriage and now its difficult to spend nights alone.By the time I convince my soul mate , Till then ABC is very good in bed :) .. whats wrong, ABC also enjoy it . Isn't it ? She is doing it all for her pleasure she know very well that in years I get die or something else. It is her choice finally.Period. I just convienced her I didn't force her to sleep with me before marriage". Marraige was just an promise . That time I was fool so I promised

I asked him what could be the consequences have you ever thought . He said coolly :- " At max she may commit suicide , she and her parents are not goon who will kill me. Its my life and I want to enjoy to the fullest that's it. Tomorrow we'll see whatever happens "

Time for climax : Girl ABC is still living her havens , snaps of this girl and the boy are every where in orkut . even she added many close snaps in her orkut and facebook profiles. Everyone in her office knows that this girl is going to marry the guy, in her orkut profile ,after 3 years. Many of them have idea of their current level of intimacy.

I tried my best to bring out this girl from the fool's heaven but all in vain . But yes now she is suspicious and is ready to absorb any shock.

Please pray with me that my friend get wiser and marry this girl.

Moral for Boys: You will be agree that it is not good to cheat a girl for pleasure , We boys are men and we should play fair games.

Moral for girls : You know very well what is the ultimate goal of boys , as soon as you give it to them , they will get bored and start finding another target . Keep it in a safe and boys will keep roaming around you to find it and get it. Keep them waiting good for you.

Here I want to say some girls think that they can keep their boy secure and safe from other girls , by giving them this thing before marriage . --- Telling you it is a big gamble , chances are you will loose it.

Until boys don't get it , getting it the biggest problem . Once they get it , persuading their parents for love marriage will become biggest problem .. :)

Read  pre-marraige relationship problems here in detail .

©2009 part of

Tuesday, 25 August 2009

IIT Faculty's salary

Mayavati statues Budget : 500 crores

Shivaji statue in Bombay sea : 350 crores .

The current basic pay for an IIT prof is round @ 20,000. His net pay would be 20,000 + 49% DA + 30% HRA + 1,100 allowance = 37,000. With experience it may go up to 70000 .

NTPC offers 6.5 Lacs package per annum for IIT freshers .

If you count for all whims and wishes of Indian politicians in last 60 years , they will certainly cross thousands of crores rupees. Whatever growth we are observing in India , is largely contributed by these IIT faculty members . Who has established brand IIT over the past 4-5 decades. And give thousands of brilliant engineers to the world and India , who are running large business corporates and generating jobs , and passing the money in system .

IITs are government funded , very right, kudos to government of India !!! Now what ???? BSNL , Railway , Air India and IOCL and many more government offices are funded by government .. output 0/0 ...

The difference between IITs and other government bodies are these respected faculty members , who deserve at least better than the package of an average IIT student.

If they are thinking about strike then it means something is very wrong with 6th pay commissions.

In Bihar every one has right to torch railways or government buses to get noticed their demand or to reflect their anger. In south Janta has right to torch and riot on the death of an actor turned politicians , Gujjars got reservation after torching many government and public vehicles .

Government has become deaf and dumb , just requesting and sending deputation is useless in India. So they chosen the strike in peaceful way . All IIT aluminies should support IIT faculty's strike by speaking loudly in all manners . Then only they will pay back to their institutes and their professors. These professors could have also chosen to start their private coachings , part time business , play cards , join politics etc etc .. Like any other university's professors . But they did their job sincerely despite having their meager salaries incomparable to any faculty in the world of same potential.

"IIT professors are losing Rs 23 lakh in their career compared with the government scientists and other officials of similar rank," Somya Mukherjee, secretary of the faculty Forum IIT-B, told PTI.

If we compare with private sector then figures will be awesome.

Support them in all ways you can .

©2009 part of

Sunday, 23 August 2009

Pre-marriage physical relationships among Indian Girls

I read at least 15-20 cases every year in which girls believed on their lovers and made physical relationship. And from then on story turns to blackmail , abortion , MMS ,suicide , murder etc etc.

Why don't girls learn the lessons from these cases and stay away from such kind of intimate relations? Why do they think that future will take turn as her lover or boyfriend is describing?

If they can't control them self and want to enjoy intimate relationship they should be better ready for consequences. Girls , who do it for sake of enjoyment, never get emotional and have proper precautions and even anticipate that the boy will not dump her after "enjoying" her.

So girls please stop behaving like a emotional fools. Don't believe on these boys , every boys has one Musharaf inside him , always waiting to  attack on Kargil. Don't trust ANY boy at all. If someone really loves you he will stay away from such relationships and even ask you to control yourself.

Whenever you encounter a boy who assure you for marriage and persuade you to make love , immediately stop meeting him , don't eat , drink any thing with him at unknown place.

The only thumb rule to be keep yourself safe and your family out of trouble , is not to trust any boy before marriage. Foxes are roaming in the skin of sheep. If you are considering someone sheep you are simply inviting trouble for yourself.

Learn lessons from others , don't trust any one.

If you are having sex before marriage with someone ready for following consequences
  1. MMS
  2. Compromising Pictures in public
  3. Ready to listen that "My family is not ready for our marriage"
  4. Pregnancy
  5. Abortion
  6. Your neighborhood boys may have every details that how and where your boy took you for ride. (Boys loves telling their tale of bravery)
  7. Be Brave . Ready to be center of attraction , Your collages and college students might look at you and laugh like anything, Some of them may ask you to come to his bed for some money.

If you are not ready for above consequences don't indulge in pre-marital or extra marital affairs.

If you are making love with a boy because he promised you to marry soon, tell yourself that he is lying and marriage will not happen at all. And also tell yourself that you are doing this for fun. Trusting someone in this matter is fooling yourself , in one word .

Promises are made to break.

If your boy insist you to be physical , you insist him to get marry first or ask him to introduce to his faimily as girl friend.

Enjoy but carefully !!! Now a days school girls are more intelligent than their seniors in colleges.

Refer this article to your sisters and friends. Do let me know if you want to get something added or removed from the article.

Updates :

Dr. Arpit Rao has written a post on his blog (naam-to-batao) to counter my views. Every body has right to start a blog and give opinion . So please do read his blog too. He compared MMS possibility with eating outside and having food poisoning every time. I just pointed a possibility. I am trying to prevent just 1 out of 100000 cases , I never said that it will happen with each and every one. If my article save just one family then I will think that I am successful. Just want to bring out young girls from there fools paradise.
Apart from this , I received many requests to remove this article from my blog post , This indicates that I am little bit successful to alert my target readers. This article is neither advocating pre-marriage sex adventures nor opposing . Only point is I want to educate girls . I just want to alert them regarding the consequences of such adventures. Every girl and boy thinks that ” My lover can’t ditch me , He/She is so much committed ” . Very right ,Possibly you are 100% right . But who knows the circumstances in future, at least 50% chances are there that your trust may go wrong .
I am underlying only one point here that make sure this 50% chance should not hurt you and and your family in future. May be boys don’t ditch you intentionally but he may not be able to resist his family pressure. What If his parents give threat to commit suicide or to kill his lover . This happens in Indian society more than you can imagine , Though it is emotional blackmail but a family loving boy can’t leave his family for a girl, only 5% at max.
Boys are equally emotional , they do need their parents , they do need their father property . They do need social attachment. While studying in hostles or living in PGs boys may underestimate these values and want to have good time pass at any cost. These boys may promise anything to you to just achieve their target . But when they encounter ground realities of going against the family then they back track. And you feel shattered and used.
Girls , Indian values are best , even boys want a wife with good old Indian values. But same boy also want to taste the forbidden fruit at the cost of false promises. This is the hight of our hypocrisy I know but what you can do? Enjoy , if you really want, but don’t do it on the assumption that he would certainly marry you. This way at least you won’t get any shock.
You can read a real story of such circumstances here. Few alternate safe ways you can read in this article .
One disclaimer I want to throw here that this article is no-where says that pre-marital and extra marital affairs among Indian girls are common. It is hardly 1 out of 10000 girls . So please guys don’t think that every 3rd or 4th girl is involved in such kind of activities.

Some girls are so much rigid with their values that after 8-9 years of good friendship if boy give her a flying kiss from 20 meters of distance she will just chop off all cord of relationship with that guy.
Don’t get motivated to try your luck after reading this article, 99% chances are ,you will be treated nicely.

©2009 part of

Saturday, 22 August 2009

Consequences of iPills emergency pills on Indian society

Growth of HIV patients after launch of iPill.

HIV patients in India July 2007 : 2.31 Million

iPill launched in India on 0ct 2007

HIV patients in India July 2009 : 5.2 Million.

Better we should call iPills as faster way to spread HIV in world.

America supported Laden and separatists in Afghanistan. He trusted Pakistan and now He felt the consequences of this uncontrolled support.

Now same things is happening in India. On one hand government is spending on HIV control program , and on another hand abortion pill , emergency pill made pre-marital and eemergency pill made pre-marital and extra marital sex more comfortable and fearless. Now girls are better ready for experiments because there is no fear of getting pregnant.

Generally boys don't hesitate in making physical relationship if they find any chance , they like experimenting because they don't have fear of getting pregnant . Now iPill gave the same confidence to the girls , both sex has now equal opportunities to enjoy to the fullest without getting caught by parents or spouse.

Emotional fools blinded in love can't imagine that the person , with whom they are going in bed without condoms , can pass them HIV because they think that their lover is committed and can't sleep with someone else.

This is what happening at bigger level across the society boundaries after the advent of iPill and HIV is getting spread at faster rate.

Freedom of doing anything without bothering about moral values are pushing India towards becoming worst American replica.

Like politicians who relies on god to control swine flu and other natural calamities and expressed their helplessness , I am too leaving this matter on god. But you can do more by using condoms in casual one night encounters , don't trust on sweet chubby guy giving a impression of having sex first time in life. He might be carrying HIV virus . Same is true for orthodox looking Indian saaree cladded girls or salwar suit wearing next door girls.

They may be more dangerous than the prostitutes carrying condoms with her.
Best if you can practice celibacy till you get marry and being committed person after marriage.
Indian youth should learn that these pills are for couples , who don' t have other affairs, not to enjoy their freedom and cheat their parents , spouses.

©2009 part of

Monday, 17 August 2009

Is she/he is my right life partner?

First ask yourself why do you want to get marry?

If some one is right for you or wrong for you is solely dependent on your objective of marriage.

Sounds very silly I know. Everybody marries for a family life , emotional support , great physical pleasure , home cooked food,children etc etc.

But the ground realities of marriage are very different. If you want to know all those ground realities meet the persons who are divorced or going through rough marriage. I know it is difficult to find Such cases and discuss their problems and their reasons.

So let me brief up all these things.

Lets take one real life example ...

Suppose there is a grocery store or shopping mall at 1 km distance from your home. How do you want to go there to buy next week grocery ? Can you guess about the possible answers from 1 billion persons in India?

Car , Bike ,Cycle , on foot , with wife , with kids , while returning from office by bus. you may prefer going along with your boy friend , someone like to go with her girl friend, some girls may like to go there with her old aged mother or father.

Different person different choices . If some is not having his maid she will not visit the place at all.

Different people might have different condition , to visit that mall . Right. some conditions are compressible and some are not. People would postpone the visit if the condition doesn't meet. Just change situations and reaction will change.

Good Life partner is not just a good looking , homely sweet girl who is working in your office.

In western countries its quite simple , mainly chemistry between two person is enough to decided the fate of relationship. When you talk about India's social context it becomes enormously complex situation.

Expectation from girls in India.
  1. Belongs to same religion.
  2. Should be in same cast.
  3. Girl should be working.
  4. Preferably convent educated.
  5. Beautiful
  6. Slim.
  7. Smart and Fair
  8. Should cook good food.
  9. Must cook breakfast , lunch and dinner (After coming from office).
  10. Should not have very close friendship with boys.
  11. Go movies with family only , or with her female friends.
  12. Should not drink.
  13. Should not smoke.
  14. Religious , god fearing.
  15. Respect in laws.
  16. Should spend unnecessarily.
  17. Should manage all house hold things.

Now what girls expects from boys, lets have a look.
  1. Good looking
  2. Smart
  3. Well educated Preferably IIT ,IIM etc
  4. Well earning at least 5 Lacs per anum or more than me
  5. Should be in same cast , religion.
  6. Help me in every house hold work.
  7. Help me in Kitchen if required.
  8. Make good love in bed.
  9. Understand my feelings
  10. Discuss everything with me.
  11. Listen me with proper attention.
  12. Manage all finance.
  13. Should own 2 BHK
  14. A car for practical purpose.
  15. A bike for romantic purpose.
  16. Love and Respect my parents (in the same way I will respect his parents).
  17. Shouldn't smoke.
  18. Shouldn't drink.
  19. Nice
  20. Loving
  21. Caring

So above are the some common expectations ..

But usually boys and girls forgets that every thing comes in part and the parcels .

If you have 10 Kg gold in your home then there is risk for your life and your family member's life, Right.

Whom should have 10 kg gold in home ??

If he and his family members has proper security , if they know well how to handle such precious stuff.

Don't go for someone who is incompatible with your family value and family status , marrying in a high status and rich family is everybody's dream , but it has its own risk and rewards. 
Successful marriage depends on two things first what you are gaining from your partner and second what you are giving to your partner . If your partner is not happy with you then also it may lead to break up.

Learn to give , think for others.
Saw many cases where a person is enormously generous to society and help for other people , but at the end of the express his/her frustration on spouse . And explains that she / he is life partner , and my life partner must help me to get relaxed.

Remember your life partner is first person in this world to receive your love and care not your anger.

©2009 part of

Saturday, 15 August 2009

Amendment in IPC-377 and illegal sex-toys

"Bench of Chief Justice Ajit Prakash Shah and Justice S Muralidhar said that if not amended, section 377 of the IPC would violate Article 21 of the Indian constitution, which states that every citizen has equal opportunity of life and is equal before law."

Wow!!! I met one senior in my college days Pankaj (Name changed) . every body told me that keep distance from him he was a gay . I never believed anybody . Later his younger brother happened to be my roomei , so I met Pankaj first time . He kept touching me and frisking me during all conversation , It was very uncomfortable but being a junior I couldn't have done expect tolerating. But he never treated me like a junior . Later I found that he is a hardcore gay, had many physical relationship with other senior and juniors . He wanted to have physical relationship with me.

So that was the past , I thought only few hopeless psychopath behave like this. That day I never thought that one day It will become legalize on the name of personal rights.

Earlier I have doubts on only politicians for their visions, now it seems politicians have infected judiciary or may be Italian effect on India .

Anyway , my suggestion is to legalize sex toys too, which are more natural to satisfy unfulfilled desires of women who are happen to be lonely .due to any reason. It may prove a effective way to decrease divorce ,rape , extra marital affairs. Couples can enjoy better intimate relationship together with these accessories and enhance physical pleasure. One need not to seek pleasure out side from marriage, once she finds way to enjoy herself and risking family life. Make sense ?? I think it is better choice on the ground of Right to have physical pleasure equally.

Another advantage of this for revenue hungry government ,who made egg as vegetarian-egg commodity just to create employment , is another area of manufacturing jobs , service tax. And still better that liquor -tax which is quite harmful for public .

And once again male dominating society showing its impact on HC decisions. By declaring physical relationship with same sex as not a criminal act will benefit only gays but what lesbians will do ???? ;)

Gays naturally have tools to enjoy physical relationships among themselves, but what for lesbians ???

"Article 21 of the Indian constitution, which states that every citizen has equal opportunity of life and is equal before law." Women need dildos , vibrators for enjoying themselves right Sir Ajit Prakash Shah and S Muralidhar. Without making sexy toy legal your wish to implement Article 21 is still half fulfilled.

So who is going to start a campaign for making sex toys leagl.We need leaders. Come on girls :)
Respectable judges Ajit Prakash Shah and S Muralidhar are you listening for women's demand ???
Sounds this article bit confusing ! Neither it is in favor of decriminalizing unnatural sex or  against it. I am in favor of full justice . Either be 100% naturally (Best thing which I like most) whether you are a man or women doesn't matter or make it 100% unnatural without discriminating among both sex. If you are banning Dildos and and Vibrator in India and decriminalizing same sex then girls are being deprived of having full pleasure ,Right ??? So I am in favor of 100% justice ! not partial justice ,which is the legacy of Indian decision makers.

Shortly I am going to launch the campaign. Keep watching my blog for updates. Do commenting if you have some suggestion on campaign.

Friday, 14 August 2009

India:A Country with no agenda!!

Title sounds very negative for every Indian (Sleeping Giant India:) ) , but some one has to speak the bitter facts.Government is happy in dreaming and also showing dreams to every Indian. The proud Indian!!We are celebrating 62nd Independence day and achievements ??? NONE . Though government can make you feel very happy by describing uncountable achievements .But what I feel that India didn't achieve anything since independence except a few ones. Let me list all achievements and then I'll describe why I don't want to count them as an achievement.
  1. Green revolution
  2. Nuclear power
  3. Satellite launching capability
  4. Missile technology
  5. Education
  6. IT Power
  7. Winning two wars with Pakistan
  8. Super power/Sleeping Giant
  9. Electricity

Green Revolution : Just used exported fertilizers and and borrowed money to give subsidies to farmers. few dams were constructed but even today a major area of India depends on Mansoon. All rain water flood the Bihar , UP , Asam and finally flushed down in occeans. Even after 62 years (adjust this figure according to the year in which you will be reading this article, I bet my statement will remain true then also) years nobody is talking this , not even a single leader(ruling and opposing both).

Nuclear Power : After first nuclear test in 1974 , government took 33 years to start uranium mining in India. what will you do with your car if you don't have petrol to fuel it. Now Manmohan singh suddenly awaked and signed something (good/bad don't know) to secure India's nuclear fuel supply. But againt its on USA whims and wish whether to give fuel or not.

Satellite Launching capability : Launched first satllite in 1970s but till date couldn't launch a spy satallite to protect India teritory , still largely dependent on other countries for intelligence . what is DRDO and ISRO are doing I don't know but yes they are doing better than other government deparments. When we can acheive good satallite eye god knows ( Indian leaders might not even thinking about it).

Missile technology : Very slow and steady. Lets see when can we intercept missiles and construct over own reliable missile shield. Lets pray to China, Pakistan not to attack India until she gets missile shield and inter continental missiles.

Education : After 62 years of independence still 40% of India population is illitrate , A 12th pass student (from non-english medium school ) can not fill bank account form , loan form , can not read prospectus given by government and he can't deal with government departments because most of the communication required occurs in English. Private sector obviously prefers english speaking employees.

"Our university system is, in many parts, in a state of disrepair…In almost half the districts in the country, higher education enrollments are abysmally low, almost two-third of our universities and 90 per cent of our colleges are rated as below average on quality parameters… I am concerned that in many states university appointments, including that of vice-chancellors, have been politicised and have become subject to caste and communal considerations, there are complaints of favouritism and corruption." – Prime Minister Manmohan Singh in 2007[29]

Though Mr. PM aware of this situation but till then no action plan we heard to improve this situation . China is hugely investing to cope up the quality education so that their children can speak good English and capture the service market from India. Let see when will Mr. Sonia Gandhi give nods to do something. India's Union Minister for Ministry of Human Resource Development Mr Kapil sibal has been student of Harvard Law School, USA But as usual he has another very important thing to do (all political gimmicks ) , lets hope he will find some time to think about state of india 's education system and get some idea from his USA , UK trip to improve it.

For reader's information out of 3 lacs engg. students only 50k -75k students are immediately employable . Hey anybody listening from government. Mr. Kapil , Manmohan , Advani ji , Mulayam , Mayawati .. any body has time to think about it. Hey guys if anybody can tell them regarding this then it would be good for India. Don't forget to give them some solution / suggestions otherwise they will say what we can do ?? very innocent people they are.

IITs / IIMs are very few elite class institutes , which are known outside India, are catering rich. A good education system should think about mass not about class. A good news from Karnataka :- government planning to promote kannad-medium schools :) . enjoy politics of vote.

IT Power : Again nothing was done by government , Kudos to private sector. Even today Karnataka government is fighting with infrastructure issues in bangalore , Metro rail is keep going on building building building. I think It has been around 15-20 years since Bangalore was accepted as IT capital of india. Many infrastructure could have been erected if leadership / government had some vision for future. 15 years back cost benefit in India was 1:6 to USA prices.Now it has come down to 1:3 , and very soon it will be 1:1.5 . China is giving cost benefit in ratio of 1:7 ration compare to USA prices . With aggressive planning and quick execution China may eat up India's IT superpower tag within 5-7 years. IT sector is leading on the way of manufacturing sector of India ,beaten by Chinese manufacturing sector. High cost , No research and development and un-employable engineering freshers. Recent Prof . Yashpal reports on AICTE , UGC are eye openers, but committee meeting and same time pass will take another 5-7 years to amend the higher education system. By then everything will move to china .

Winning two wars with Pakistan : This could have been a achievement if our past leaders could have got agreement signed with Pakistan . Something like It can be attacked if found involved supporting terrorism in India. Or Pakistan could have been divided in 5-6 nations so that all those 5-6 nations keep fighting themselves. But no we are peace loving no thinking leaders of great India . How can we think about India's benefit. Noops not at all. Even the dogs and the snakes knows very well that no need to bite everyone , just barking and hissing is enough to keep some enemies away . But who will teach these well educated Indian leaders ,who can't even speak aggressively . We lost 4 opportunities in past 1972 ,1977 , Kargil and latest but not last Mumbai attacks.

Actually Kargil war was not at all new thing for India. China did this in 1962 and captured a large area. Same thing Pakistan did and still a large area is under the Pakistani control after Kargil war.

Once bitten twice shy, but India you can beat her with same trick many times. Peace lovers leaders. India will be kept bitting by Pakistan and China , and Indian leaders will be keeping playing the flute of Peace .

Authur talks about real state of Indian defense system.

Electricity : This is the most frustrating issue for me . every person on this earth knows the advantage of 24x7 uninterrupted power supply. Students can read in villages , farmers can irrigate their crops , industries can work efficiently. To generate energy you need a dam and hydro electric plant or thermal plant , wind energy or solar energy, and after 1975 we start think about nuclear energy. But unfortunately Indian leaders couldn't understand its importance . You can see regular power cut in Noida ,Gurgaon , Delhi and Bangalore imagine what is happening in other cities and distant villages. After 62 years of independence we couldn't ensure uninterrupted power supply to industry and farmers .

Few days back I read one article of "Sharad Joshi ".It was depicting condition of Indian bureaucracy. Article discusses what would have happened if Postal department were setup by Indian governments after independence instead of Britishers. Gist is something like this-

First , you need to buy form to apply that you want to send one letter. Your file would be open in office . Now You had to mention "what are you going to write in letter" ? "is it personal "? not violating any national security ." One officer would check that you hadn't write anything against India government. After this you had to Buy tickets (obviously from black market) . Now your file were pending in dispatch department , you had to go to post office thrice and have to bribe some officer to get it moved forward. Finally your letter be reached to destination approx 1 month of exercise. Now another person would go through the same procedure in his cities postal office. And here you would be frequently checking your local postal office for reply letter. After few days one officer would ask you to prove your identity or fill affidavit that you are " sharad joshi " . then Post office's peon would have given you the letter.

Super Power / Sleeping Giant : No at all !!! All just Media and government gimmicks to divert nation's attention from weak and under equipped army. Kargil attack and Mumbai attack are enough to debunk the claim of becoming super power or top 5 army in the world. If it were so strong certainly India would have attacked Pakistan on these two occasions reaping the support of whole world , USA and UK .

But ground reality is India is not a super power. May be a sleeping giant who will be never awakened by its "So called leaders".They can't think beyond Nehru Gandhi's peace. Army men / Indians be ready for another conflict , intrusion with China , Pakistan , Bangladesh. Ready to sacrifice yourself. India is a peace loving nation.

Bill Clinton went to N.Korea just to get two reporters free. But for Indian leader 's no worry , no value of human life . Another attack and army men will be loosing their life at boarder and inside country. How cowered our leader are you can see

Indian Leaders reaction at the time of Kargil / Mumbai attack: Peace , Peace , Peace No attack on Pakistan. Mumbai attack : Peace , Peace , no attack on Pakistan. Indian leaders could have started full fledged war against Pakistan and would divide it into 5-6 small nations. Even now Manmohan singh / Sonia / Rahul , Priyanka , Pranab have no guts to ask USA do drone attack on POK training camps, despite having proves and intelligence reports. Attacking Pakistan is distant dream for Indian leadership.

Recent Peace loving act of India by Manmohan Singh : Signing Joint statement Sharam el-Sheikh which delinks mumbai terror attack with bilateral discussion with pakistan and promises to investigate into RAW role in Baluchistan.

I want to give an example it is very crude example but have to use it, maybe it will work to awake sonia and manmohan . Example is something like this , a neibhour break into a house , rape mother and sisters in the house and house owner files police case . In the evening he is sipping tea with the rapist delinking the rape investigation and police case. Now will anyone belive this guy if he says that this is the guy who raped my sister court hearing is going on .

Now lets see USA reaction on threats against USA interest (anywhere in the world )

Here I want to quote Kennedy, he gave a key warning in his first public speech on the cuban crisis (October 22, 1962).Even today all American presidents have same stance to protect american interest.

"It shall be the policy of this nation to regard any nuclear missile launched from Cuba against any nation in the Western Hemisphere as an attack on the United States, requiring a full retaliatory response upon the Soviet Union."
Roll of Indian Leaders in last 40 years :

It is India's technical backwardness , or an inefficient , un-imaginative , myopic vision of Indian leadership who couldn't see anything except staying in power so that there party men can get patrol pumps, free land and misuse the power. They can see only how to bring and establish their relatives into politics.

Bailout packages are given to corporates and farmers are committing suicide. Common man will loose his government job if he is found involved in some criminal case but in India , minister with criminal records are making the policies that how should a common man behave. Severeness of situation can be understood by analysis of the reasons behind selection of Pratibha Patil as president of India. I think she is the only president in Indian history with a tainted faimily background. Bank fraud and alleged murder by her brother.

So naturally doubts come in the mind why congress couldn't find a clean candidate for this post.Generally every party support a candidate for president post who has clean back ground, but congress stubbornly refused to withdraw her. Is it all to immune her or to assure that president will give every decision in favor of congress if situation comes.

If our leader were illiterate people or having fake degrees then it was ok and digestable. But have a look on the details of educational background of top notch ministers in India. They are very well educated persons , they understand economics , law and technology .But they are pretending or not willing to do anything intentionally. You can awake some one if he or she is sleeping but if someone if pretending to sleep then what ??? can you awake him/her . Not at all.

©2009 blog part of