Monday, 17 August 2009

Is she/he is my right life partner?

First ask yourself why do you want to get marry?

If some one is right for you or wrong for you is solely dependent on your objective of marriage.

Sounds very silly I know. Everybody marries for a family life , emotional support , great physical pleasure , home cooked food,children etc etc.

But the ground realities of marriage are very different. If you want to know all those ground realities meet the persons who are divorced or going through rough marriage. I know it is difficult to find Such cases and discuss their problems and their reasons.

So let me brief up all these things.

Lets take one real life example ...

Suppose there is a grocery store or shopping mall at 1 km distance from your home. How do you want to go there to buy next week grocery ? Can you guess about the possible answers from 1 billion persons in India?

Car , Bike ,Cycle , on foot , with wife , with kids , while returning from office by bus. you may prefer going along with your boy friend , someone like to go with her girl friend, some girls may like to go there with her old aged mother or father.

Different person different choices . If some is not having his maid she will not visit the place at all.

Different people might have different condition , to visit that mall . Right. some conditions are compressible and some are not. People would postpone the visit if the condition doesn't meet. Just change situations and reaction will change.

Good Life partner is not just a good looking , homely sweet girl who is working in your office.

In western countries its quite simple , mainly chemistry between two person is enough to decided the fate of relationship. When you talk about India's social context it becomes enormously complex situation.

Expectation from girls in India.
  1. Belongs to same religion.
  2. Should be in same cast.
  3. Girl should be working.
  4. Preferably convent educated.
  5. Beautiful
  6. Slim.
  7. Smart and Fair
  8. Should cook good food.
  9. Must cook breakfast , lunch and dinner (After coming from office).
  10. Should not have very close friendship with boys.
  11. Go movies with family only , or with her female friends.
  12. Should not drink.
  13. Should not smoke.
  14. Religious , god fearing.
  15. Respect in laws.
  16. Should spend unnecessarily.
  17. Should manage all house hold things.

Now what girls expects from boys, lets have a look.
  1. Good looking
  2. Smart
  3. Well educated Preferably IIT ,IIM etc
  4. Well earning at least 5 Lacs per anum or more than me
  5. Should be in same cast , religion.
  6. Help me in every house hold work.
  7. Help me in Kitchen if required.
  8. Make good love in bed.
  9. Understand my feelings
  10. Discuss everything with me.
  11. Listen me with proper attention.
  12. Manage all finance.
  13. Should own 2 BHK
  14. A car for practical purpose.
  15. A bike for romantic purpose.
  16. Love and Respect my parents (in the same way I will respect his parents).
  17. Shouldn't smoke.
  18. Shouldn't drink.
  19. Nice
  20. Loving
  21. Caring

So above are the some common expectations ..

But usually boys and girls forgets that every thing comes in part and the parcels .

If you have 10 Kg gold in your home then there is risk for your life and your family member's life, Right.

Whom should have 10 kg gold in home ??

If he and his family members has proper security , if they know well how to handle such precious stuff.

Don't go for someone who is incompatible with your family value and family status , marrying in a high status and rich family is everybody's dream , but it has its own risk and rewards. 
Successful marriage depends on two things first what you are gaining from your partner and second what you are giving to your partner . If your partner is not happy with you then also it may lead to break up.

Learn to give , think for others.
Saw many cases where a person is enormously generous to society and help for other people , but at the end of the express his/her frustration on spouse . And explains that she / he is life partner , and my life partner must help me to get relaxed.

Remember your life partner is first person in this world to receive your love and care not your anger.

©2009 part of